An Open Letter To Seema Rose

An Open Letter to Seema Rose 22.8.2024

Hello Seema,

First of all, apologies that this letter is not in your notebook and that it took three months to write and deliver. But today, I know that I couldn’t have written this even a day earlier. The reflection period has indeed been long, including not only the retreat itself but also an intense therapy and self-exploration phase that lasted throughout the beginning of the year, the completion and contemplation of an art piece over the summer, and the insights gained from the morning pages routine started in the summer, all intertwined with the retreat experience.

I participated in the retreat in the Cotswolds because traveling to retreats all over the world is a dream that has begun to come true. I noticed your very first retreat on Instagram, and just following it in participants’ posts gave me joy, even though I wasn’t there with them. Additionally, the Cotswolds is a very close place to me through my late sister, who lived there for the largest part of her life, and I feel a deep connection to the area through her, to places I have never visited.

My first similar trip to Croatia in 2022 changed everything for me regarding how I see myself, what is possible for me, and what I allow to myself. I know Croatia changed your life as well. There, for the first time perhaps ever, I was completely stress-free and at perfect peace, entirely free from all responsibility. I realized how much I and my environment were tied to the control I created and maintained. And how heavy it was to maintain that control over everything, and also unnecessary, but that I learned only later. In Croatia, I was wrapped in an incredibly wonderful peace.

At the beginning of this year, in therapy, I discovered the name of that feeling of peace: it is silence.

In the Cotswolds, the silence was complete. Amidst all the joy, laughter, conversations, emotions, and openness, it was completely quiet again.

In our shared moments, laughter echoed, but so did tears flow. I believe that we all were somewhat surprised by our need to be heard as creative individuals, without external expectations and with no other values than creativity. From that need, we shared things from perspectives we might not share even with our closest ones, let alone with people we don’t really know yet. But we weren’t unknown to each other, not even fora moment. We were safe being ourselves with each other, the people we genuinely, deep inside, wanted to be. And friends to each other, friends for life.

In the Cotswolds, I sought the same feeling as in Croatia: a break and time for myself without responsibilities. After a very heavy period of internal reflection and realizations at the beginning of the year and a long illness, participating felt particularly important. Especially since it was uncertain until the last moment whether I could attend due to health reasons. In the beauty and peace of the Cotswolds, in the radiance of all that hope we carried together, and being far from all the difficult times and themes I’d been through, I received confirmation that I am heading in the right direction in my life.

It is much quieter in that direction than where I am coming from. In that direction, there are also more retreats, hopefully not only as a happy participant (also that) but also as a guide in creative observation.

I appreciate and admire you, Seema. I know that your life has not been wrapped in only wonderful silence, the beautiful peace, but I am truly grateful that you have enabled a moment in that wonderfulness for me and many others who need it. I am happy you have found your creative calling and dare to follow it. I can hardly wait to meet you again, to be part of the silence you create, your creative community, present in your brilliant personality.

Love you,
Veera

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